decisions, decisions

today was the basically the day from hell. I wake up and i know that i have my chemistry and calculus exams to take. Now, i’ve been studying for chemistry all weekend. I go and take chemistry and oh boy was it hard. Actually let me rephrase that, it wasnt hard. It was exactly what we were supposed to know but we barely had enough time and they don’t let us use our normal calculators. I was so flustered. The questions are hard. They arent easy in the least bit. And so i got discouraged. I’m starting to rethink my reasons for becoming a doctor.

Its not because i can’t handle the pressures. but its the questions of do i think that the goal of all this madness is worth it. Am i willing to study for basically the rest of my life so that i can become a doctor? will i be happy? Do i really want to be in school for that long amount of time? 

I mean i was an english major and i thought i loved english. but then the reason i changed to biology was because i have a better future with biology. But i love writing i love photography. I love reading and analyzing stories. Where did that passion of mine go? Why did i choose the analytical side over what i really genuinely love? 

I dont know what i’m going to do. I mean i can’t rush. I have to really sit down and figure out what i want to do. I feel like i want to do something where i will love to go to work everyday. I dont know what that job is going to be. Its going to be hard to figure this one out. I’m already in my third year of college i mean how long is it going to take for me pick what i want to do??

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~ by cnoury on October 5, 2009.